Mastering Your Empathy

One of the greatest gifts we can give one another is empathy. Empathy is sharing someone’s perspective, standing in their shoes and knowing, sometimes at a visceral level, how they feel. This creates trust and shared understanding, and it connects us on a deeply human level.

As an Empath, this ability to empathize can be a superpower, but also an Achilles’ heel. For many years I felt others’ pain so deeply I mistook it as my own. I carried way more anxiety and suffering than I needed. At times, I wasn’t sure where I ended and the other person began. As a “sensitive” person, I rode all the emotional highs and lows. I picked up on all kinds of frequencies, and I was exhausted a lot of the time, but wasn’t sure why.

Have you ever felt this way?

One of the most powerful shifts in my life was learning to recognize the unique vulnerabilities of being an Empath and how to master my gifts as a Perceptive and Intuitive Being. I had to learn how to demarcate the edges of my energetic and physical bodies and untangle myself from years of being emotionally and energetically intermeshed with others. When I began, it felt more like building walls to keep people out in an effort to self protect. Over time the walls mellowed into a more subtle awareness of where I put my energy and who I chose to spend time with. I got better at saying no. I let go of needing to help everyone under the sun. I surrounded myself with experts and guides who helped me put into words the physical and psychic sensations I was feeling. It was good to know I wasn’t the only one.

There are many ways to strengthen boundaries, like imaging your body surrounding in a cloak of golden light or letting go of toxic people or no longer accepting others’ unhealthy behaviors. There are times when these strategies are extremely useful. Yet, at it’s core, boundary setting is not just about creating separation. It is not about “you are over there and I am over here.” Healthy boundaries are the mechanism that help you tune into your Inner Authority — your inner truth and knowing and wisdom guiding you always. Boundary setting gives you space to quiet the voices, external messages, and energies swirling around you long enough to hear the speakings of your own heart, mind and intuition. When you can hear and honor your callings — that is when you become masterful in life, in art, in the pursuit of a life that is self-propelled by your self agency, your voice, and your ability to discern what is good for you or not.